Cherokee Billie

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Fatal Dating
by Cherokee Billie


couple holding hands

 

As a psychic advisor I receive many calls about dating and relationships. What I have written is directed to women, but it applies to men also.  Often I hear about one of the most fatal mistakes you can make with a man. 

What is that?  Having sex or having oral sex with him on the first date. Many times women will engage in sexual activity on the first day that they meet, meaning he hasn’t had a chance to take them out or get to know them.  Remember the Bill Clinton trial?  The court ruled that Oral Sex is considered sexual activity.

If you don’t do anything else right when it comes to relationships, get this one thing straight.  Do Not Engage In Sexual Activity On The First Date. 

Shall I repeat this once more?  Do Not Engage In Any Sexual Activity On The First Date! 

There may be exceptions to the rule, but are you willing to take that chance?

A man will always remember that you slept with him on the first date.  And once you have slept with a man, in his mind there’s not much in courting you.  He got the trophy without running the race or even crossing the finishing line.  If you are that easy, he wonders how many others have been there before him.

On the first date a hug and short kiss is acceptable, anything more is crossing the line.

Of course both parties should be responsible for their actions, but in the moment of passion logic flies out the door.

Sleeping with a man makes a woman vulnerable, where it can hurt the most.  The trail of broken hearts is littered with condom wrappers.  Lots of potential relationships end before they start because of this one mistake. 

It's not because men are scoundrels, either.  It's because when they emerge from a quickie where do you go from there?  You're with someone in a situation that

Really belongs in a more advanced relationship - yet you both know that you don't know each other that well. Sometimes you’re not even sure you like the person you just had sex with.

This leaves you, so vulnerable to being treated as though your intimacy didn't matter as much as it would in a long-standing, committed relationship. In reality it doesn’t matter as much as it would with someone you were involved with for a long time and seriously.  Either of you can decide to opt out immediately with very little aftermath.

Women tend to think this one will work out because it feels so good. She feels he is so enraptured that he wants her forever.

Since she is feeling these powerful emotions, she assumes the man feels that way, but most of the time he is not. He is just having pleasurable sex and it is easy to misread it as an emotional connection.

She convinces herself she can deal with casual sex and it is no big deal, but then she will become anxious and depressed when he does not call again. So it does matter.

When you sleep with someone, you have created a spiritual bond with that man forever- and I think that most women will agree that whether you want it or not another person leaves an imprint on you, both emotionally and physically,

It’s Important Not to Have Sexual Relations with a Married Man or a Man Who Is Living with Another Woman. You are interfering in a spiritual bond and you are causing spiritual disruption. Trust me very few married men ever and I repeat ever leave their wives no matter how much they complain about their wife. Do not live on empty promises. You’ll be spending your holidays alone and crying.

Here's my advice of what to do if a man wants to get you to bed prematurely:

Ask him about his relationship goals. If he has no interest in having a relationship, write him off. It means he's only interested in sex.

Tell him, "I'm an affectionate, warm and passionate woman. If we become a couple, I'll enjoy sharing those things with you." Some men are willing to wait, but don't want a cold fish.

Remember he's putting both of you at risk. He doesn't know whom you've been with, and you don't know whom he's been with. What if somebody has a disease? It's not worth the risk.

Trust me on this one critical point and do NOT sleep or have oral sex with a man when you just met him or just started dating him. You will not regret following this advice.

Of course it’s always your decision and remember you have to live with the consequences be it positive or negative.

If you take things slowly, you can't go wrong. To build anything in life takes time and to get a good relationship takes time, effort, patience, and trust.  If you care deeply for him and want a relationship with him, it is far more likely that you'll have this relationship if you get this one thing straight, Do Not Have Sex on the First Date!

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™®©2010 Cherokee Billie